Tuesday, 3 July 2012

The Sabotage Cycle

I'm sure I'm not the only one who suffers with this, but sometimes it damn well feels like it.

I have a good day, a good weekend, a good week and then I go and screw it up. Sometimes it's when the scales start falling, other times it's just a good day on the tracker with a healthy deficit and BOOM!!! .... a stupid decision humps it all.

I can't decide if there's some underlying reason for my clockwork like fuck-ups or if it's just plain laziness. Do I have a secret fear of losing weight, or am I trying to punish myself for some subconscious reason?

I really don't know but it's driving me absolutely nuts. I survived the weekend, I had a great day on plan yesterday and I went home, did the shopping and cooked up a great healthy risotto. And while that risotto was cooking I ate handfuls of mini Daim bars from the big grab bag I bought at the supermarket and salted popcorn that my flatmate had done to go with the film we were watching. WHHHHHHHHHY?????

It was just stupid. Luckily, I didn't have the whole bag of chocolate and the popcorn was air-popped so not so terrible and I had some calories to spare but really, what did it accomplish apart from me eating far too much food late in the evening and feeling bloated this morning.

I'm currently re-reading a load of my posts from summer 2010, when I know I was in a similar rut and I managed to dig myself out before I went to Costa Rica. I'm hoping for insight and enlightenment, but frankly I'll settle for motivation.

Ah well - so far today, so good.

- Posted from my iPhone

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