Friday, 27 April 2012

Roller Derby

Well, technically it was roller disco, but my knees, hands and ear (?!) look more like the after-effects of a derby!!!

Last night we unleashed our inner 12 year olds, donned neon leg-warmers and lots of sparkly make-up and ventured to Bump @ Motion - the monthly roller disco night in Bristol for my friend Annie's 30th birthday.

I was a little worried that I'd over (under?) dressed as I got ready - I mean really, denim hot-pants, rib tights, orange and grey stripe leg-warmers, a pink graphic vest top and giant pink heart hoop earrings are tough to pull off on a rainy Thursday night .... especially over the age of about 23. But nope - bang on with the dress code. I like this place already!!

After being handed my black skates with their neon green wheels and fluoro pink laces (and tucking my leg-warmers over the top like all the cool kids) we wobbled our way off the sofa, out of the bar and carefully navigated the short ramp up to the dance floor / rink. It's been a good 15 years or so since I last flew around on skate and I sure knew it!

But oooooh the fun!!! With funk, Motown and 90's throwback tunes as a pounding soundtrack we wobbled, giggled and dodged our way round the sides. Each circuit proving a little easier as it all came back. Stopping proved a challenge though - I used to just slide to stop in a dramatic circle as a kid and I couldn't figure it out anymore!!!

It really was like being 14 again - the girls shrieking and giggling, the boys showing off - whether they were any good or not! - and the cool kids in the centre who were going backwards and break-dancing on skates (seriously. How???). Oh, and the occasional liability-on-wheels who you knew to dodge to avoid getting taken out!

Well, it sure beats an evening sitting in front of the tv, or even in the pub! Adding vodka to the mix certainly made an interesting variant on my teenage memories - there was none of that the first time round! - but it was a great night out, even I do feel a little battered this morning after a couple of falls and crashes.

This weekend sees me shooting off to the Gower for a surf weekend that is going to be very lacking in surf according to the forecasts. Ah well - can't have everything and I'm sure there'll be plenty of fun to be had anyway!

- Posted from my iPhone

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

White Wedding

This weekend was my good friend Bridget's wedding.  She was marrying another friend of mine Tim; I take credit for that, since I introduced them 4+ years ago, and I hope they have a wonderful long life together (here's to you, guys!).

For someone who didn't date much in her 20's, it was also the first time I've ever come face-to-face with an ex where the break-up wasn't mutual and friendly.  I survived!!  Whoooooooo!!! 

I'm kind of the emotionally-retarded equivalent of a 13-year old teenager when it comes to relationships.  Did I say I didn't date much in my 20's?  Yeah, well, I didn't date at all in my teens!  So it's really something I'm having to get to grips with now instead.  Being overweight and secretly low on self-esteem for a long time will do that to you. 

Now, however, I'm diving into the deep, murky world of relationships, and learning to swim.  Or drown.  We might have to see how that one goes in the long run!  Anyhoo, back to the wedding and the "reunion".  I was seeing Chris for 3 months and all was going fairly swimmingly, or so I though, until one day Chris just sort of .... went AWOL. 

People who are more experienced with relationships and break-ups may have seen this one coming, but in my hopeless romantic optimism, I didn't.  It's sort of hard to break up with someone when they just stop talking to you.  Reading that back though, I'd have to question who's the bigger relationship juvenile in this situation - him for thinking it was ok to just stop talking to me one day, or me for getting stubborn and refusing to chase it and force a conclusion.

So that was 7 weeks ago and not a sighting or a word since then.  We both knew we'd be at the wedding on Saturday, and in a truly mature move, I approached the wedding with the intention of looking at hot as is humanly possible for me.  A ridiculously (expensive) slinky dress, black tights and skyscraper stillettos to make my legs look their best (obvs!) and great accessories.  I'll admit it:  I looked hawt.

Irritatingly, so did he.  They're not supposed to show up looking tanned and good in a suit are they?

But that's not the point, as I'd like to say I carried it off with aplomb.  Smiled warmly when we had to acknowledge each other, and then proceeded to have a riot of a time at the wedding whilst staying neatly out of his way.  It's not my fault that my table at the wedding breakfast was shrieking and laughing the loudest and generally having the most fun (or that his table was next door to witness that).  And it's certainly not my fault that the DJ was a friend of mine and played awesome tunes which got us in the mood to rip up the dancefloor, which we duly did. 

Despite getting very drunk of champagne (it would be rude not to really, and I don't have that amount of self-control, especially when faced with an annoyingly cute looking ex), I behaved with dignity (ignoring my pogoing bare-foot on the dancefloor - it was appropriate for the song at the time), didn't make a fool of myself and stayed the hell away from him.  He on the other hand got staggeringly wasted, groped my friend drunkenly whilst boring talking to her for ages by the bar (I think she took one for the team to keep him out the way of the general public), and then appeared, loitering at the edge of our group on the dancefloor, looking like he had something to say to me but couldn't quite work himself up to it.

Score one to me, I'd say.  Yeah, I'm mature.

Although, I'm still annoyed that I don't actually know why he just walked away.  On the upside, he did admit to my friend (whilst intoxicated) that he'd been an asshole.  Gee?  You think?

Good news:  I have learned I can cope with exes :-)

Other than that little drama, it was a glorious wedding.  The rain didn't dampen spirits, and the couple were deliriously happy.  There was home-made bunting, and a beautiful cake made by the groom's sister, good friend's, laughter and hugs.  A wonderful day.

A Fresh Start

A fresh start: sometimes it's a good thing.

A clean slate yet to be written.  Adventures yet to be had. 

Of course, there have already been many adventures.  You could read about them here if you choose to.  Or start again, here, with me.  I can fill in the back-story for you, if you'd like:  I'm 31, and I've nearly always struggled with my weight.  For the last 3 years, I've fought my way down the scales to something approaching a healthy weight, and then fought to stay there.  And I've started living my life in what feels like full technicolour as a result. 

I kid you not, it changed my whole life.

Not because I'm slim now, or spectacularly beautiful, as a result (I'm a healthy size 14 and I'm quite pretty enough thank-you-very-much but not a supermodel by any means), but because I learned that if I can conquer my weight then I can damn well conquer other things too.

My challenges now are much more than just my weight.  I'll talk about more than just that here.  This is my sounding board for life.  When I started blogging I was just focused on losing weight, getting smaller, and getting happier.  And I did that. 

Getting happier: finding happiness.  And finding it's more than just a clothes size.  It's your attitude to life.  The challenges you accept, the friends you have, the risks you take, the new experiences you seek.  With the fat stripped away, you have to decide who to be.

I'm trying to do just that.