Well, by the grace of some benevolent higher power, I've had a small reprieve to brighten my otherwise dismal week. Despite not being wholly on the ball with my eating, and exercise having taken a backseat to running round like a loon, I've somehow finished the week several lbs lighter and therefore back down at 12st 3.75lbs - back nearly to my recent lightest.
Of course, I've also finished the week one relationship lighter, several kilos of stress heavier and a few hundred miles more tired than I started it.
Luckily for me, right now I'm leaving this week in the dust and am, even now, on a train speeding towards London and then Brussels for a very well timed, and much needed, time-out on the real world.
Normal service will hopefully resume next week when I have my head screwed on a bit straighter, my heart shored up against further bruising (although to give credit - in this case it was unintentional and we're hoping to remain good friends), and focus reapplied to looking after myself a bit better.
Bon voyage, mes amies.
- Posted from my iPhone
Friday, 21 September 2012
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Over
Well, just for once it looks like I wasn't being paranoid - Simon and I are over.
Which now I think about it means we're actually sort of over for the second time. He doesn't have the right feelings for me but loves seeing me as a friend.
I think maybe I already knew that but couldn't bring myself to admit as much, but after 6 months of on and off dating I'm sorry to see it end. I'd like to think we'll see each other as friends but l think I need to get my head in the right place first.
Always depressing getting dumped even if you were the one that precipitated the conversation in the first place.
Single. Again.
- Posted from my iPhone
Which now I think about it means we're actually sort of over for the second time. He doesn't have the right feelings for me but loves seeing me as a friend.
I think maybe I already knew that but couldn't bring myself to admit as much, but after 6 months of on and off dating I'm sorry to see it end. I'd like to think we'll see each other as friends but l think I need to get my head in the right place first.
Always depressing getting dumped even if you were the one that precipitated the conversation in the first place.
Single. Again.
- Posted from my iPhone
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Before And After
Just a bit of fun - this is what happens when I get back from a hard day's surfing and need to be ready to go out on the town an hour later! Not too shabby if I say so!
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
Up And Down
I'm not entirely sure whether the title refers to what's going on with my bathroom scales currently, my efforts at healthy living, my moods or life as a whole!
Everything feels super busy at the moment - life is hectic and lived at fast-forward speed - which doesn't leave much time for feeling relaxed or making good choices.
Some of the busyness is good stuff - an amazing surf at Woolacombe on Saturday, an epic night out for a 30th birthday watching Craig Charles (he of Red Dwarf fame) doing his funk soul dj thing until the not-so-early hours of the morning. The rest of it is work, currently accelerating to break-neck speed .... and this is only the run-up to main event ... it's cranking up for October to be truly awful at work, but the less said about that the better. In the meantime, I'm running round the country prepping (London yesterday and Leeds next week), and trying not to panic. And I'm going to Brussels this weekend, since I'm obviously not travelling enough already.
Eating, and regular exercise, is therefore a bit hit and miss. Thursday through Saturday I did spinning, circuits and then surfing, and then on Sunday I declared myself broken.
On sunday night, I was so tired I couldn't face cooking and had a cold picnic dinner of bread, French cheese, saucisson and sun-dried tomatoes. Followed by most of a pack of Fox's chocolate cookies. Intelligent. And slightly sickening. Yesterday I was travelling and in meetings all day, and although I made an effort, it was somewhat inevitable that the long day would leave me somewhat over my daily points.
Oh - and for good measure we're doing around a dozen viewings for a new housemate this week ... noooooo - not enough time!
And finally, the icing on the cake, I have to figure out what's happening with Simon, and my hormonal self (did I mention that added bonus) can only imagine bad outcomes.
Did I say "up and down"? I think I meant "overwhelmed".
Head down and keep slugging!!
- Posted from my iPhone
Everything feels super busy at the moment - life is hectic and lived at fast-forward speed - which doesn't leave much time for feeling relaxed or making good choices.
Some of the busyness is good stuff - an amazing surf at Woolacombe on Saturday, an epic night out for a 30th birthday watching Craig Charles (he of Red Dwarf fame) doing his funk soul dj thing until the not-so-early hours of the morning. The rest of it is work, currently accelerating to break-neck speed .... and this is only the run-up to main event ... it's cranking up for October to be truly awful at work, but the less said about that the better. In the meantime, I'm running round the country prepping (London yesterday and Leeds next week), and trying not to panic. And I'm going to Brussels this weekend, since I'm obviously not travelling enough already.
Eating, and regular exercise, is therefore a bit hit and miss. Thursday through Saturday I did spinning, circuits and then surfing, and then on Sunday I declared myself broken.
On sunday night, I was so tired I couldn't face cooking and had a cold picnic dinner of bread, French cheese, saucisson and sun-dried tomatoes. Followed by most of a pack of Fox's chocolate cookies. Intelligent. And slightly sickening. Yesterday I was travelling and in meetings all day, and although I made an effort, it was somewhat inevitable that the long day would leave me somewhat over my daily points.
Oh - and for good measure we're doing around a dozen viewings for a new housemate this week ... noooooo - not enough time!
And finally, the icing on the cake, I have to figure out what's happening with Simon, and my hormonal self (did I mention that added bonus) can only imagine bad outcomes.
Did I say "up and down"? I think I meant "overwhelmed".
Head down and keep slugging!!
- Posted from my iPhone
Monday, 10 September 2012
The Banzai Charge
Aka - The Hardest Thing I Might Ever Have Had To Do.
Well, D-Day was yesterday - or rather Race Day. There was no escaping it at 6.15 am yesterday morning - it had arrived. My alarm went off and I had to haul my lazy carcass out of bed.
About the only preparation I had done for this race was laying my kit out the night before and packing a bag with clean clothes and wet wipes for afterwards. In all other respects, I was so unprepared.
But you know what we thought - the race is two 4 mile laps. 4 miles is really not that far. Chuck in a bit of mud and some hills, and really how bad can it be? I mean really?
We were totally delusional.
It. Was. Tough.
We thought we could run the flats and the downs, scramble through the obstacles and run and walk the ups. We could walk 8 miles in 2.5 hours if needed, we reasoned (2.5 hours being the slowest finish time recorded on the course the previous year).
HA!!!!
For a start, there were no flats. Not really. The only flattish sections were either up, down or violently across a steep transverse gradient so you were trying desperately not to roll your ankles in the grass and go flying. There were no trails - it was all on grass. Or ploughed field. Or bracken cover. Or of course, the endless mud.
And the hills? Not "hills" like the Malvern Hills I'm used to running round - all rolling ups and downs. These were short, sharp, vicious little sods. If you weren't going down them on your arse, you were picking your way down at snail pace trying not to trip or fall. Or not get your feet caught in the bracken. Or crawling up them on all fours, or with hands on knee's trying to breathe.
And then there were the obstacles. One 30ish m section of bog took us 20 mins to get across. Or through. Because we were literally thigh-high in thick, viscous, sucking mud.
I think I sprained my shoulder on the 20m slip slide when I went down it so fast I bounced clean off it onto the mud and kept sliding, jarring my arm hard in the process.
It took 10 mins and 3 attempts to get up the bank out of the river crossing, because twice I managed to crawl high-enough on the slick bank to grab the rope, only to lose my footing and slide back. In the end, I crawled up through the nettles so I could at least keep my footing.
At the end of the 1st circuit we were broken. Exhausted and shaking and still with the spectre of the final run of obstacles to the finish, whether or not we did the second circuit. We decided one circuit was enough. After all, there was still a barb wire crawl, a scramble net to get under, 5 1/2 ft vertical wall to go over, a tunnel, and electrified web and a final 7ft A frame wall to conquer.
We did it. Just. One 4 mile lap took us an hour and a half.
We collected our medals and our time prints and collapsed on the ground.
This time the Banzai Charge partially defeated us. We weren't prepared. We hadn't counted on the Royal Marines designed course being more than twice as hard as a normal run of the same distance. We managed one lap, but not full 8 mile course.
But it was fricking awesome and well be back for round two!!!!
(p.s. I'm glad to say that although the marshall was there to keep an eye on us and help if needed at the final wall, I did it all on my own - a small victory!)
- Posted from my iPhone
Well, D-Day was yesterday - or rather Race Day. There was no escaping it at 6.15 am yesterday morning - it had arrived. My alarm went off and I had to haul my lazy carcass out of bed.
About the only preparation I had done for this race was laying my kit out the night before and packing a bag with clean clothes and wet wipes for afterwards. In all other respects, I was so unprepared.
But you know what we thought - the race is two 4 mile laps. 4 miles is really not that far. Chuck in a bit of mud and some hills, and really how bad can it be? I mean really?
We were totally delusional.
It. Was. Tough.
We thought we could run the flats and the downs, scramble through the obstacles and run and walk the ups. We could walk 8 miles in 2.5 hours if needed, we reasoned (2.5 hours being the slowest finish time recorded on the course the previous year).
HA!!!!
For a start, there were no flats. Not really. The only flattish sections were either up, down or violently across a steep transverse gradient so you were trying desperately not to roll your ankles in the grass and go flying. There were no trails - it was all on grass. Or ploughed field. Or bracken cover. Or of course, the endless mud.
And the hills? Not "hills" like the Malvern Hills I'm used to running round - all rolling ups and downs. These were short, sharp, vicious little sods. If you weren't going down them on your arse, you were picking your way down at snail pace trying not to trip or fall. Or not get your feet caught in the bracken. Or crawling up them on all fours, or with hands on knee's trying to breathe.
And then there were the obstacles. One 30ish m section of bog took us 20 mins to get across. Or through. Because we were literally thigh-high in thick, viscous, sucking mud.
I think I sprained my shoulder on the 20m slip slide when I went down it so fast I bounced clean off it onto the mud and kept sliding, jarring my arm hard in the process.
It took 10 mins and 3 attempts to get up the bank out of the river crossing, because twice I managed to crawl high-enough on the slick bank to grab the rope, only to lose my footing and slide back. In the end, I crawled up through the nettles so I could at least keep my footing.
At the end of the 1st circuit we were broken. Exhausted and shaking and still with the spectre of the final run of obstacles to the finish, whether or not we did the second circuit. We decided one circuit was enough. After all, there was still a barb wire crawl, a scramble net to get under, 5 1/2 ft vertical wall to go over, a tunnel, and electrified web and a final 7ft A frame wall to conquer.
We did it. Just. One 4 mile lap took us an hour and a half.
We collected our medals and our time prints and collapsed on the ground.
This time the Banzai Charge partially defeated us. We weren't prepared. We hadn't counted on the Royal Marines designed course being more than twice as hard as a normal run of the same distance. We managed one lap, but not full 8 mile course.
But it was fricking awesome and well be back for round two!!!!
(p.s. I'm glad to say that although the marshall was there to keep an eye on us and help if needed at the final wall, I did it all on my own - a small victory!)
- Posted from my iPhone
Saturday, 8 September 2012
Pre-Race Nerves
The first week back at work after a holiday always sucks ass, right? This week was no different, if at least mercilessly quick.
Work is busy right now (and only going to get significantly busier over the next 2 months), and I'm also having a mini-meltdown that the Banzai Charge is tomorrow!!! How?? How has this happened???? This time tomorrow I'm going to be slogging my guts out running an 8 mile obstacle course I am woefully under-prepared for. The only tactic left is to laugh, have fun, and accept we'll likely be last by a very large margin. But as Hannah said, we will get round, even if we have to walk it.
ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod.
So aside from all that, how's the week gone? It's been busy! A last minute dinner out on Tuesday was lovely, but put yet another spanner in the plans for a week of clean eating. Between that, the weekend and probably the holiday finally catching up with me, my weigh in this week sees me a lb up. I can live with that.
Body Balance happened on Monday (with aches on Tuesday), running happening on Tuesday (with aches on Wednesday), and by Wednesday the weather was glorious, the surf was beginner-perfection and 2 full days back in the office had killed me, so I ditched work early and buggered off to the coast.
It was a well thought out decision as it was one of the most perfect surf sessions I've had. I've never done a full sundown session before, and now I know why others do. When the conditions are perfection and the sun's sliding low in the sky in a wondrous display of yellow, orange and pink, why the hell would you want to get out before it's too dark to see what you're doing?????? After last Thursday's frustration at Saunton, Wednesday was the perfect antidote and doubly good, reminding me of everything I've come to love about surfing. It was crazy busy in there (bobbing figures in black wetsuits packed tight as far as the eye could see) but everyone was so friendly and happy to be sharing the fun.
Needless to say, on Thursday I ached like an absolute bitch!!!! With that in mind, and Sunday looming large, I've taken the last couple of days to rest my body and banish the aches. I didn't run on Thursday like I'd planned, thinking that feeling fresh was probably more useful than one last run in the scale of things.
In fact, it's annoying to realise how many things I can't do when I'm resting up. I can't surf, can't go to circuits, can't risk a good sweaty mountain bike ride. Roll on next week and getting back to normal!!! Hopefully once I've survived tomorrow without humiliation or injury and got some fun stories and a new medal for the wall!!
In general though, I'm fairly content with things. I'm finding my rhythm again after holiday, and am anxious to resume the steady progress I was making before France. Steady is good.
Socially, it's all looking quite peaceful for the next couple of week's which helps - partly because I'm supremely broke after hols!!! All good for the healthy quest though!!
- Posted from my iPhone
Work is busy right now (and only going to get significantly busier over the next 2 months), and I'm also having a mini-meltdown that the Banzai Charge is tomorrow!!! How?? How has this happened???? This time tomorrow I'm going to be slogging my guts out running an 8 mile obstacle course I am woefully under-prepared for. The only tactic left is to laugh, have fun, and accept we'll likely be last by a very large margin. But as Hannah said, we will get round, even if we have to walk it.
ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod.
So aside from all that, how's the week gone? It's been busy! A last minute dinner out on Tuesday was lovely, but put yet another spanner in the plans for a week of clean eating. Between that, the weekend and probably the holiday finally catching up with me, my weigh in this week sees me a lb up. I can live with that.
Body Balance happened on Monday (with aches on Tuesday), running happening on Tuesday (with aches on Wednesday), and by Wednesday the weather was glorious, the surf was beginner-perfection and 2 full days back in the office had killed me, so I ditched work early and buggered off to the coast.
It was a well thought out decision as it was one of the most perfect surf sessions I've had. I've never done a full sundown session before, and now I know why others do. When the conditions are perfection and the sun's sliding low in the sky in a wondrous display of yellow, orange and pink, why the hell would you want to get out before it's too dark to see what you're doing?????? After last Thursday's frustration at Saunton, Wednesday was the perfect antidote and doubly good, reminding me of everything I've come to love about surfing. It was crazy busy in there (bobbing figures in black wetsuits packed tight as far as the eye could see) but everyone was so friendly and happy to be sharing the fun.
Needless to say, on Thursday I ached like an absolute bitch!!!! With that in mind, and Sunday looming large, I've taken the last couple of days to rest my body and banish the aches. I didn't run on Thursday like I'd planned, thinking that feeling fresh was probably more useful than one last run in the scale of things.
In fact, it's annoying to realise how many things I can't do when I'm resting up. I can't surf, can't go to circuits, can't risk a good sweaty mountain bike ride. Roll on next week and getting back to normal!!! Hopefully once I've survived tomorrow without humiliation or injury and got some fun stories and a new medal for the wall!!
In general though, I'm fairly content with things. I'm finding my rhythm again after holiday, and am anxious to resume the steady progress I was making before France. Steady is good.
Socially, it's all looking quite peaceful for the next couple of week's which helps - partly because I'm supremely broke after hols!!! All good for the healthy quest though!!
- Posted from my iPhone
Monday, 3 September 2012
Quick Quick!!!
Bad Things: there was a lot of takeaway on Saturday night. And wine. And more wine on Friday night.
Good Things: Friday and Saturday night were epic and I ate pretty damn well the rest of the day.
Bad Thing: spent waaaaay too much money on new autumn clothes on Friday
Good Thing: have beautiful new clothes I genuinely love and am excited to wear, and feeling suitably seasonally transitionally autumnal.
Bad Thing: have realised that denial does not help and I really am supposed to be doing all 8 hilly, muddy, obstacle-strewn miles of the Kamikaze Challenge this coming Sunday, for which I'm woefully underprepared.
Good Thing: ummmmm - it'll be over soon? Or I'll be dead.
Oh dear.
After the weekend's socially driven blow-out I can report two days of good solid eating. So I suppose that's a good thing too.
- Posted from my iPhone
Good Things: Friday and Saturday night were epic and I ate pretty damn well the rest of the day.
Bad Thing: spent waaaaay too much money on new autumn clothes on Friday
Good Thing: have beautiful new clothes I genuinely love and am excited to wear, and feeling suitably seasonally transitionally autumnal.
Bad Thing: have realised that denial does not help and I really am supposed to be doing all 8 hilly, muddy, obstacle-strewn miles of the Kamikaze Challenge this coming Sunday, for which I'm woefully underprepared.
Good Thing: ummmmm - it'll be over soon? Or I'll be dead.
Oh dear.
After the weekend's socially driven blow-out I can report two days of good solid eating. So I suppose that's a good thing too.
- Posted from my iPhone
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